My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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