Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
