I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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