Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
