sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
