OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
