Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
