I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
