Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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