Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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