I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
