her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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