I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
