Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
