i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
