i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
