kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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