8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
