I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
