He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
