I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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