He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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