in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize