Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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