you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
