I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
What a dumb baby whore.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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