I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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