so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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