I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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