i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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