Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
