nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
