I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
