glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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