don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
