I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
