I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My vagina is officially offended.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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