we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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