I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize