and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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