sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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