I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
