I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
barbara walters just said penis...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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