the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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