eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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