If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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