My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize