One girl and one boy is just not enough.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
