Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
