Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
