We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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