I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She said her name was "party"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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