WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
why is half of my head shaved?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
