I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
