I puked a lego.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I touched a dick in church today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize