Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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