Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
